They Describe Her as Frosty
by AnnaBanaBanana
Summary: Sarah is alone in the CIA, ordered to do despicable things to protect her country.She just wants someone to care for her but what if the first person to offer her another life isn't Chuck? Eventually Charah.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey there! This is my first fanfic so I would really appreciate your constructive criticism on this chapter. If you guys like it I will hopefully keep going till my ideas run out but if you think its not worth keeping please tell me and I will continue to delude myself in private instead of online. The story mostly centers around Sarah and how she was "frozen" before Chuck and how she begins to "thaw" when she meets him. Please tell me what you think.**_

**Part One: Frozen**

Back at the "Farm" they described her as frosty which if Sarah Walker wasn't actually freezing, she might have found funny . But laughter was just about last thing on her mind as she crept around the undisclosed compound following the sounds of argumentative Russian. She was in the middle of St Petersburg's warehouse district somewhere near the waterfront if her nose wasn't mistaken. She had been briefed back at Langley on the three Russian thugs she had spent the better part of the night tailing around the city. Sarah had waited for them to leave no less than five separate clubs before finally coming to where they were storing the Intel her bosses wanted so badly.

It was textbook CIA for her superiors to send her off with a pat on the back and a firm reminder for her to do her job, to risk her life for a piece of Intel that could be completely worthless for all she knew. But this was her life now and ignorance of the real reasons behind the missions she was asked to complete was normal for a CIA officer like herself. Her bosses never bothered to tell her any more information than was pertinent to her assignment. Lies, deception and mistrust had been her life ever since she had been forced into accepting entrance into the CIA's "Farm". Once there she had been cut to fit into the mould the CIA had wanted her to fill; A beautiful confident woman who was trained in every martial art under the sun, a woman who could shed identities like clothes and never let anyone glimpse the vulnerable unloved girl beneath her hard icy exterior, a woman whose gun was merely an extension of her hand.

She was grateful for that last piece of weapons training that enabled her to smoothly draw her Smith&Weston from the waistband of her jeans. She peered around the container she was hiding behind and saw the three men clustered around a smaller blue container with Russian graffiti scrawled along the sides. The two largest thugs whom she recognized as Ivan and Igor Ivanov, were arguing in heated Russian while the slight man behind them fiddling with the locks on the container must be their other brother Isaak. She remembers holding back a snort of laughter during her briefing back at Langley when she read their names. _Who would use the same first letter in the names all of their sons_? A Russian. She smirked and silently stepped around the edge of the container keeping the barrel of her gun raised. They had their backs to her so they didn't see her creeping towards them, ready to shoot.

One of the only things she had enjoyed learning during her lonely stay at the Farm had been languages. She had always been an intelligent girl but a life on the run from the law didn't exactly set her up to enjoy the smoothest of educations. She had done her best to study when ever her father thought it was safe enough to enroll in a school but those occasions had been few and far between. So it didn't shock Sarah that when she was given the opportunity to become fluent in Spanish, French, Polish, Russian, Italian, Arabic and Chinese; she had absorbed them like a sponge.

She hadn't been to Russia for a couple of years but as a disciplined Agent she tried to listen to a news bulletin in Russian at least once a week as well as one each in the other six languages she was fluent in. If anyone questioned her meticulous studies she told them she wanted to prepare herself for any situation where she might have to pose as anyone of those nationalities. This answer usually satisfied her bosses when they questioned her about what she did with her mandatory vacation time (Like they even cared).The truth was she hated free time and would do anything to avoid moments when her thoughts weren't occupied. Free time was dangerous because it lead to thinking and thinking was not something Agent Walker liked to do. Thinking meant contemplating her life and its utter meaninglessness. If her bosses knew the truth they would tell her that she had a purpose, that she was serving the greater good. They would be wrong. Sarah's definition of right and wrong had always been a shade of gray when she was growing up with a con man for a father but three years in the CIA had seen even that grey become murkier. If the people she protected knew what she did to protect the "greater good" they would lose all faith in their government.

_Focus Sarah _Agent Walker snapped, shaking Sarah out of her revelry. She had reached the end of the container and stood in the shadow of its overhang and was now close enough to hear the guttural sounds of the men's conversation.

"_Father entrusted this shipment to us so we must make sure it makes the deadline." _Igor, she recognized, he was the taller of the two.

"_What is so important about this shipment?-"_

"_-I don't know! I don't want to know!"_ Igor interrupted his brother. "_But if we don't get it to Cynthia by the however"_

_Cynthia _Sarah noted. Who was she? Her name hadn't come up in her briefing.

"_We will get it to her"_ Ivan said trying to comfort his brother "_But why is father so afraid of these clients?" _

"_Because they killed Viktor" _Igor said quietly and Sarah had to strain to catch his words.

Viktor Novakov was a man Sarah could identify. He was an associate of the three brothers' father, a trusted friend of the Ivanov's and a man wanted by Interpol for drug trafficking, supplying weapons to terrorist cells in Northern Africa and for money laundering.

Isaak walked over after hearing his brother's confession and the three began to lament their father's friend's passing. After five minutes of them reliving the good times with "Uncle Viktor", Sarah decided she had had enough.

She fired a round into the frigid air and felt the familiar recoil of the gun on her cold hands. The three men squealed like pigs and dropped to the ground trying to cover their heads and put their hands up at the same time.

"_Don't shoot! Don't Shoot" _Igor yelled, looking around wildly trying to find the person who had taken the shot, the other two were simply to mute with terror to do much more than stare at their brother.

Sarah found herself rolling her eyes _Some Russian bad guys they are _but she quickly smoothed her features back into their emotionless mask and took a step towards the men and out of the shadows.

"_Put your hands behind your head and turn to face me." _Sarah said calmly with a voice like flint. The three men however didn't react calmly and began scrambling around to face the source of the sound. Agent Walker's lips curved upwards in an amused smile at their fear. She could see in her mind's eye what they were seeing. Some of her previous partners had described to her what she looked like in the midst of the action; Ice blue eyes completely devoid of emotion, steady hands that didn't hesitate for a second to pull the trigger and the small one sided smile of pleasure that always emerged when she watched her prey squirm. Agent Walker was proud of the fact that the image of the uncaring spy she had spent years perfecting was always in place. Sarah however was terrified that she could be that person. A killer.

Her mask firmly in place, Sarah stared down at the three men whimpering on their knees at her feet.

"_Which one of you knows the combination for the container?" _Sarah asked in a monotone, her face completely devoid of emotion.

Issak raised a shaky hand and began to stutter out some unintelligible Russian phrases of which Sarah could only discern a "_don't shoot me!_ " Which almost made her laugh. _Obviously._

"_Get up!"_ She commanded gesturing with her gun for him to walk over and unlock the container. "_Don't try anything stupid or I'll shoot them,"_ aiming her gun now at his two other brothers.

Issak clambered to his feet and stumbled over to the crate. His fingers shook so much he had a hard time turning the padlocks but after three minutes of fumbling the chains finally fell lose.

"_On your knees" _Sarah said as Issak walked back over to when his brothers kneeled.

This was the part of the mission that Sarah hated but she had her orders. Langley had made it very clear that she had no alternative. When the container was open there was no further use for the three brothers and she had been ordered to kill them all. "_Make it messy"_ was their exact words. They wanted to soften up the Ivanov's father when they interrogated him. Scare him into telling them everything.

Sarah swallowed in distaste. Agent Walker thought it was a very good way of breaking one of the world's most notorious criminals. But Sarah's opinion wouldn't help her complete the mission. She had to be buried in a place deep inside where Agent Walker's emotions couldn't escape.

One blink of self pity was all that Sarah allowed herself before she fired off three rounds in quick succession. There was no time for a surprised yell from any of the men. They simply fell face forward into the snow, their blood making little red ribbons on the white canvas.

Agent Walker's training made her quick to act even while her brain was lagging behind. 1: Case the scene 2: Put away her gun 3: Take the necessary surveillance photos for the Director 4: Call for Backup 5: Wait.

Waiting… Agent Walker didn't like waiting. It gave Sarah an opportunity to get out of her cage and tear at the seams of her carefully constructed mask.

Sarah's breaths came in quick gasps. She rubbed at her hands and the raggedly bitten nails trying in vain to scrub off the invisible blood dying her hands a brilliant shade of scarlet.

"_Sarah?" _She hears a soft voice from over her shoulder ask gently.

Agent Walker whips around, gun drawn. It can't be part of the CIA's team. They would address her as Agent Walker and make an unemotional request for a report on her mission, not call her name in the concerned tone used by the dark haired woman now standing in front of her.

"_Hands up! What's your name?" _ Sarah yelled at the stranger who despite the gun being pointed at her, looked calm. _She's good_ Sarah thought grudgingly.

"_I'm unarmed Sarah,"_ the woman said making a show of raising her hands above her head and away from any potential weapon she could draw, "_And I'm just here to talk_," she continued in the same unnervingly calm tone.

Sarah hadn't missed the fact that the women apparently knew her name and therefore her record. Why was she being so trusting? Didn't she know that Agent Walker killed first and asked questions later?

"_How do you know my name?" _Sarah barked keeping her finger firmly on the trigger.

"_I know a lot about you Sarah Walker born in San Diego California January 23rd 1981 to parents Jack and a woman whose name was redacted from your file. Your father is a con-man and at the age of 12 you left your Grandmother to join him on the run. You were recruited when you returned to San Diego in1998 and at the same time your father was apprehended by the law. You're current CIA alias is Sarah Walker but you have been Jenny Burton formerly Rebbecca Franco formerly Katie O'Connell formerly-"_

"_-I get your point but how do you know all this?"_

"_I work for a secret fraction inside of the CIA called FULCRUM. We do our best to ensure this country's proper standing in the world and we are looking for agents like your who want to make a real difference doing things that really matter to the future of this country." _The woman's eyes began to light up as she described the organization that Sarah could see she had dedicated her life to protecting. Sarah hadn't seen the same reaction in herself for years, not since she had been first recruited and thought she could live a life of adventure while making a difference. That dream had died long ago.

"_I can see you want to get away from this Sarah. I know you want to make a difference-"_

"_You don't know anything about me," _Sarah snarled realizing the woman had played her. She had said all the right words to create a tear in Agent Walker's carefully constructed mask but as soon as the woman thought she had Sarah, the tear was sewn up again. "_You're not part of the CIA, we would know about an infiltration. You're nothing but a terrorist for going against the government."_

"_Really?" _the woman said slowly raising an eyebrow," _Am I wrong to go against the same government who sent you on the assassination mission to Lisbon? And the seduction mission in France?"_

Sarah's glare faltered. She had built careful walls to block out the memories of those specific missions and with one mention this woman has brought them crashing down.

All at once she could see the images she had tried to forget. There were the wide fearful eyes of a child staring up at her as she held the gun to his mother's head. The group of greasy French politicians, sickening smiles nonexistent as the lay face first in their dinners, dosed with the cyanide she had given them. Her hands red with blood she couldn't scrub off, a fitting scarlet letter for the atrocities she had committed.

Without any command from the rational part of Sarah's brain, she lowered her gun arm to wrap it around her aching chest. It didn't stop her raged breathing but it did help to hold her broken heart in place.

"_Sarah," _said the woman in the same unnervingly considerate tone she had used before. She walked forward and placed a comforting hand on Sarah's heaving shoulder.

Sarah reeled back, secretly pleased that her spy instincts were still in place while trying to suppress the sudden urge to cry at the first show of human affection in over three years.

"_Stay back," _Sarah warned, afraid of the simple power of sympathy.

The women looked unaffected by Sarah's actions. In fact the only time had seen her express any kind of emotion past this cool calm sympathy was when she described her cause, a cause she wanted Sarah to join, a cause Sarah could fight for. A cause called FULCRUM.

It was as if the woman could see the cogs turning in Sarah's head and so she remained silent, letting the silence hang. The bleep of the walkie she had forgotten to turn off startled Sarah and she quickly fumbled for the button.

"_Agent Walker we are five minutes from your position. Is it secure?" _The unemotional voice of the backup leader asked. With shaking hands she grasped the device and raised it to her lips.

"_Yes,"_ Sarah said managing to sound almost normal, _"I am secure." _

The woman looked on approvingly, sensing Sarah was ready to give in.

"_I'll be in touch,"_ she said simply and before Sarah was able to react, she had vanished into the shadows.

Sarah stood rooted to the spot as the CIA's teams began to secure the area and get to work on the bodies. She let the frenzy of activity flow around her as her mind churned over the new information she had been given. It was an opportunity to get away from the failure that was her life and make a real impact for the only thing she had left to hold dear. An opportunity to absolve herself of her sins. An absolution that will allow her to sleep without the wide eyes of the child haunting her dreams.

Sarah watches the CIA's teams scuttle around her while rubbing at the invisible bloodstains coating her hands. She has three dead bodies at her feet, an overwhelming pain in her chest and one huge decision to make.


	2. Chapter 2

_**WOH! What an amazing Season Finale! I can't really put anything into words right now but to quote Fedak, GAMECHANGER!**_

_**Anyway I would like to thank you all for your kind reviews. It really cheered me up to have a fresh pairs of eyes reading my work and giving an opinion on it since I myself have got sick of reading over it again and again. I just want to address some concerns from the reviews. Yes I do have an idea where this story is going but I just don't have an end in sight. I have a vague idea of where it will end but I don't think I will get there anytime soon as I have a lot of ground to cover before Sarah meets Chuck so we won't be seeing him for a while sorry folks! I promise there will be Charah because I am a massive shipper so there is no way I would neglect that aspect.**_

_**Hopefully this Chapter will better explain Sarah' s reasons and show that she isn't a complete doff that just jumps over to the dark side. The reason she was so accepting of the woman's proposal in the previous chapter was because she was at such an emotional low. In this chapter she I thinking a bit better… at bit.**_

_**But now I'm waffling so please enjoy and leave a review for me! **_

**Chapter Two**

Sarah began to notice a change in herself when she arrived back at her hotel room on the morning of the Ivanovs' assassination. She'd followed her usual post mission routine; A long shower that she always turned up too hot in an effort to scald her blood stained skin, a large tub of Rockyroad ice cream and a couple glasses of red wine. Keeping occupied was her key so no matter how much her eyelids drooped and her eyes protested, she kept them open and fixed on the mindless sitcom playing on the television screen.

But even her training couldn't ward of the inevitable sleep any longer so she switched off the TV and staggered to the bedroom in defeat. Sarah stripped off quickly and clambered under the covers that promised warmth and a haven from the cold Russian night. She fumbled around blindly until she found the light switch that plunged the room into darkness.

Soon the blankets that had felt warm seconds ago began to chill her to the bone. The sheets was swallowing her up and making her feel insignificantly tiny and alone in the large double bed. There was no one there to ward off the cold, no one to fill the bed with their comforting presence, no one to hold her as she started to fall apart at the seams.

Sarah bit her ragged lips in an attempt to hold in the broken whimpering coming from an uncontrollable place inside of her. Now she had three more faces to haunt her dreams and yet more blood staining her hands. She had spent many nights like this, curled up in the covers of a foreign bed, hugging her knees to her chest and wondering if the pain would ever end. Some nights she even imagined phantom limbs wrapped comfortingly around her torso but when she woke and eagerly rolled over, she was greeted by an empty bed.

Sarah distracts herself by thinking of the woman's offer and the possibility of a way out. Maybe its a way out that will one day allow her to come home from a long day and be proud of what she did to secure her country's safety. She would have something to hold onto instead of floundering in a sea of despicable acts. She would have a cause she could fight for. She would have FULCRUM.

She rolls over, annoyed at herself for even considering the possibility of joining an organization that goes against the government she has sworn to protect but it's the woman's arguments that echo a protest in Sarah's head _The same government that sent you to Lisbon, that sent you to France?_

_ You don't know anything about this organization!_ Sarah argues with herself, _you don't even know how to contact this woman. Heck! You don't even know her name!_

Agent Walker quickly runs over the logistics of the situation. She has no way to contact this woman or even indicate her interest should she chose this path away from the CIA. If she wanted this she would have to show her willingness with actions. She had to assume they were watching her as the woman had known the exact right moment to appear. She also needed to believe that they had her records and information. This meant they would know she was scheduled to leave the country tomorrow. She would have to increase the possibility of them approaching her by staying in the same place. _If _she emphasized i_f she was going to do this._

But before she stupidly threw her career away, she needed to get any information she could on this FULCRUM without the CIA's knowledge. Agent Walker didn't commit to a cause just because a woman looked at her with warmth in her eyes and she wasn't about to start today. Sarah would have to call on a lot of hard won favors to go behind the CIA's back on this. She hopped this venture was going to be worth her risking her job but, she reminded herself, it wasn't like she had anything else to look forward to.

Sarah could barely keep her eyes open as thirty two hours without proper rest began to take its toll. She would have to work on a strategy when she woke up. Sarah fell asleep almost instantly as her training prescribed but what it didn't demand was the small smile that stayed on Sarah's lips throughout the night and during her dreamless sleep.

XXXXXX

From an apartment far away from where Sarah was sleeping, the woman from the docks watched a screen intently .It was the video feed from Agent Walker's hotel room. The view of the Agent sleeping with a smile on her lips brought a malicious smile to the woman's own: she sensed a victory.

She had been in charge of recruitment for FULCRUM for just over four years and never had she found a recruit more promising than Sarah Walker. Sarah had an impeccable record, taking out an entire drug ring in Colombia and then enduring six entire months undercover in the Middle East after only two years of active service. She had also graduated the from the "Farm" a year early than any of the other recruits inducted at the same time as her.

But the woman was no fool. She knew that to recruit a dedicated and highly skilled agent into an organization that opposed the government the potential recruit had sworn allegiance to, was hard work. _Very hard work _she signed and shut off the feed.

That was why to recruit an agent of such a caliber as Sarah Walker she had to spend many months waiting for the right moment to make such a proposition. She had to go deeper than the bare statistics of the CIA's reports and dig deep into the real Sarah Walker. Fortunately FULCRUM was not only remarkably secretive but also had the means for sourcing good information.

She had dug up old physiological evaluations back from Sarah's induction into the "Farm." What she had found had further cemented her belief that Sarah right for FULCRUM. She was also sure that with her new found information, she now had a way of breaking the mighty Agent Walker. She was so confident of this that she had been given leave from her superiors to do the breaking herself.

The report had painted a pitiful picture of the woman beneath the armored protection of Agent Walker. Sarah had deep abandonment issues which stemmed from her mother's disappearance and her father's lack of interest in her consequently Sarah had constantly tried to impress her father but his love and affection lasted only while there was money around. She had a deep yearning for love and affection and as a result she tried to shut herself away. Away from both people and her emotions because she believed that love only lead to vulnerability and vulnerability to hurt. Sarah wanted love and was afraid of it all at the same time.

This was the woman's only real foothold in the mission to break Sarah Walker .It was also one thing she didn't have to teach Sarah herself, Sarah's father had done that for her already: Spies never fall in love.

She knew that Agents of Sarah's ability would do all they could to find out about FULCRUM which she expected Sarah would do soon, she expected nothing less from the CIA's best. She was already prepared and had had FULCRUM personnel placed around Sarah years ago who would feed her favorable information towards the organization before the woman would confront Sarah again herself.

The last confrontation between Recruiter and Recruitee was the reason she loved her job. She lived to see the flash of indication in their eyes before they made their crucial decision. If they chose to join she would welcome them with open arms if they were needy like Sarah but if not, she got to put a bullet in their head.

Hopefully that would not be the fate of Sarah Walker but the thrill of the unknown was always the addictive rush that kept her doing this. At least if the worst came to the worst she would get to kill again. It had been a while and she was getting a little hungry.

XXXXXX

The next morning Sarah woke early with a vigor she hadn't felt in years. For the first time since Lisbon her dreams hadn't made her wake with a scream, the sheets dripping with sweat. For the first time the child's eyes hadn't stared unblinkingly at her behind closed eyelids. Her sleep had been dreamless and Sarah was overjoyed.

But she wasn't so much of a fool as to credit her sudden lack of nightmares to the woman's offer. In the light of day with a clearer head Sarah realized she had been seriously considering an organization she knew nothing about that secretly opposed the Government she worked for.

But still Sarah wanted to learn more. Her government treated her as a name and a number, as an asset to be exposed for their benefit. She had every right to yearn for the compassion and sympathy she had seen in the woman's eyes and words. To be honest at this moment Sarah felt that this supposedly terrorist organization was showing more compassion than the CIA!

She hurried through a breakfast of mushy cereal, eager to be at the office for the first time in weeks. She collected her handbag from the couch where she had slung it some days ago and haphazardly filled it with things she thought she would need for the day: gun (just in case), lipstick, wallet, fake ID (you could never be to careful of who might see you) and her burn phone. The last item on the list was a device she had never used. One thing her Dad had taught her while on the run was to be prepared to the point of paranoia. She had requested this phone from one of her Dad' old contacts and it wasn't even on record with the CIA. She shivered at the thought of using it for the first time today, her first act against the CIA, inquiring about FULCRUM. Her betrayal was small but regardless of its size she could lose her job for withholding valuable information from the CIA.

Agent Walker took one sharp breath before squaring her shoulders and walking purposefully out of her hotel room, already formulating arguments that would allow her to stay for a couple more days in Russia. In her distracted preparations Sarah had neglected to see the small inconspicuous looking bug glaring banefully down on her.

XXXXX

Sarah makes her way easily through the early morning traffic of St Petersburg's business district. It takes a total of ten minutes for her to travel from her hotel to the inconspicuous looking office building nestled between many other sky rise blocks of concrete. She pulls smoothly in to her assigned parking space, gets out and slams the door of her Porsche behind her. The sound echoes off the walls of the cavernous garage that is completely empty save for a few cars belonging to a few overly dedicated workers.

The guard scans her badge and allows Sarah to pass through the security gate and head for the elevators. She pushes the button for floor thirteen then waits for it to slowly ascend while painfully cheery music filters through the speakers. Eventually Sarah makes it to the thirteenth floor, suddenly dreading the meeting with her boss

She walks into the private conference room and presses a couple of buttons until the screen displays the intimidating figure of her boss, Langston Graham.

**_"_**_Congratulations Agent Walker," _Graham begins formally," _We have acquired the Intel from the Ivanov's crate and it is currently being sent back to Washington for analysis."_

Sarah didn't ask what the Intel was, she was experienced enough now in the ways of the CIA to know that that was all the information he was willing to give so it would be all the information she was going to receive.

_"We received your surveillance photos," _He continued while pressing a button on his desk to bring the images up onto the screen,_ "And you will be pleased to know that the Ivanov's father broke this morning and confessed to everything," _Here he allowed himself a victorious smile that he must have thought he was sharing with Sarah but the best she could muster to in return to his was a watery eyed grimace.

Graham didn't seem to notice for he continued to smile down at her, _"We got him Walker." _He let his bloodthirsty grin linger for a second more before his features returned to the scowling emotionless face she remembered.

Sarah doesn't hear him as he begins to debrief her on her newest assignment, somewhere in Rome she recalls, half paying attention to his words but all she can think of is the surveillance photos taking up an entire second monitor beside the one of her boss. She tries to focus on his voice but the shocked frozen faces of the men keep drawing her gaze. She can see their mouths open with shock with the scream they never got the chance to bellow. Their still warm blood makes red rivers on their pallid faces, pouring from the fresh bullet wounds in their heads.

_How could I have done this? _Sarah asks herself but she has no real answer she just knows that this has to end-

-"_Agent Walker have you been listening to a word I have said?" _Graham asked in annoyance," _Because of your success in the assassination of the Ivanov Brothers I am sending you to Rome to take on one of our top assignments, the elimination of a man named Adriano Davi,"_ He pressed another button that mercifully made the surveillance footage disappear but they were soon replaced by the image of an Italian man in his late thirties.

Sarah can't think of much past the relief that the surveillance photos are gone but she knows that when she blinks, the images of the men's faces will be burned into her retinas. Subconsciously she takes in that this was her sixth assassination mission; all of them so far have been a success. Her bosses have realized this and consequently were now pushing her to become just another angelic blonde CIA killing machine.

Graham can't see from the blank face of his Agent that he has just pushed her over the edge. Sarah is now lost in the potential future the CIA is setting up for her, a life of killing in cold blood, a life of nightmares haunted by the accusing glares from the dead. No. She couldn't do it. She would do it. It's no longer a decision between the CIA and this FULCRUM, no, FULCRUM was her escape route now and she was taking it.

She looked up and made eye contact with her boss, a fierce new determination burning inside of her, she was staying here in Russia.

"_Sir with all due respect I would like to pursue some leads on the Ivanov case. I want to tie up any lose ends before I leave the county," _She said meeting his glare with one of her own. To get what she wanted she had to talk his language which meant dancing around her real motives, revealing nothing. She could play his game; she was trained in deception for pity sake!

"_I admire your dedication Agent but I can assign someone else to oversee the final stages of this mission, your talents would be of better use in Rome."_

_"Sir I have an impeccable record of _finished _missions and with your permission Sir I would like to keep it that way."_

Graham smirked, enjoying his Agent's pride in her record, "_Fine Agent Walker you have three days and then you're on a plane to Italy_. _Ok? Dismissed," _He decreased and disappeared from the screen.

A slow smile spread over Sarah's face, she had done it, she had deceived her boss. Three days wasn't much but she was Agent Walker, she could do this. She would find out about this FULCRUM so that when this woman contacted her she would be ready. She would have an answer for her.

Her answer would be yes.


	3. Chapter 3

** Hey there guys! Sorry about the wait, things have been a bit hectic for me lately and writing this chapter has really been an uphill battle. I'm no**t** 100% happy with how it turned out but hey I don't have a Beta to turn it into something magical. This is the last chapter concerning Sarah and her decition to join FULCRUm or not. Please read on and give me a review telling me what you think=)**

**Chapter Three**

Two days had passed since Sarah's meeting with Graham and she still hadn't found anything new on FULCRUM. If she was being truthful, the only thing she could truly say was that they were incredibly well concealed. Well concealed enough to not be mentioned in any of the CIA reports she had managed to get her hands on.

She was currently stuck in the mid- day traffic of St Petersburg behind a Russian cabbie who apparently nothing better to do than hold up the whole sting of cars angrily honking behind him. Sarah was supposed to be on her way to finding some possible information hinted at by an old colleague. She had been given the address she was traveling to through a friend of a friend of the friend who she didn't actually know which properly meant the infromation couldn't be trusted and it was going to be a dead end. But Sarah had no more leads; this was her last hope of finding anything.

Sarah had tracked down the old colleague of hers stationed in Russia under the identity of Steve Jacobs. She had managed to grudging extract a phone number from him after a couple of not so subtle reminders about the time in Colombia when she had saved him from a group of drug smugglers with nothing but a shovel and her fists.

From there she had been lead on a wild goose chase, traveling from one greasy balding Russian to another, each one worse than the last. Eventually Agent Walker had given up on the encouraging smiles and flirtatious giggles that had yielded nothing but leers, and went for something that was guaranteed to produce a more willing stream of information, her trusty throwing knives. After that they had no longer decided to play cat and mouse with her and had promptly given her the address for a small nondescript building in central St Petersburg.

Unfortunately for Sarah, the only available time she could have escape the inquisitive eyes of the CIA was on her lunch break. So now now Sarah was stuck in traffic with what seemed like every Russian in the city who had decided to take their lunch break at exactly the same time as she had. Sarah groaned and ignoring her training, gave into her frustration by rolling down the window of her Porsche and shouting a steam of Russian curses at the lazy cabbie. A woman walking along the side of the street with her young child was the only one who seemed to hear Sarah. She covered the child ears shooting Sarah a dirty look before hurrying back into the sea of people.

Finally the driver decided to unblock the narrow street enabling Sarah to speed pass, purposefully made sure she came within inches of the cabbie's rear bumper as she passed. After that Sarah had no trouble navigating through the traffic. This was mostly due to fact that not many drivers wanted to contend with the speeding blonde whose gaze burned a hole in the back of anyone stupid enough to cross her path.

Sarah made it to the building with only twenty minutes to spare of her lunch and a fiery temper brewing. _This guy had better not resemble a cab driver _she thought and walked up the stairs to the porch, a scowl on her face. She knocked three times in the order she had been given (_very childish and unprofessional_ Agent Walker criticized) while waiting for the door to open. After a quick wait it swung open to reveal a diminutive man that just screamed _geek. _ He gulped up at her for an uncomfortable length of time that quickly passed the normal bounds of etiquette. He finally seemed to realize he wasn't in a dream and brought his eyes up to meet her impatient gaze. Seeing that any words that would stumble from his lips would not placate the frosty beauty in front of him, he turned and walked briskly towards the thing she must want the most, the information.

"_It's all there," _He stammered out while looking back over his shoulder to see if the Agent had followed him into the room. She wasn't by the door where he had left her so he glanced around in confusion trying to locate her. He found her on her knees by the stacks of papers already leafing through them eagerly.

As soon the thrill of finding new information wore off Sarah began to register what she was looking at: black lines. She whirled around to face the analyst who had just picked the wrong day to trifle with Agent Walker.

"_What," _she snarled, leaping to her feet_, "Kind of stupid analyst prank is this!" _she yelled kicking the papers , making them fly about in confused spirals that finally settled in a jumbled mess on the floor.

The analyst just stuttered for a minute, having no words to say to the anger flushed Agent in front of him. It wasn't until he saw her hand creep towards the waistband of her skirt where she no doubt had a weapon sheathed that he managed to force a reply.

"_We found the like that!"_He cried but when the look on the woman's face didn't even begin to soften he began to babble. _"The reports are from an agent who was working for the NSA undercover three years ago. He was investigating governmental security when he heard rumors of an organization that was embedded deep inside the government, completely secret and incredibly well connected."_

He waited for the woman to relax but she did the opposite.

"_Three years of investigating and undercover work and all he had was RUMORS!" _Agent Walker screamed and embedded one of her throwing knives into the wall an inch away from the analyst's head. He stood frozen, mute with terror.

She began to count_ 1...2...3...4...5..._ makin herself calm down and return her hands to her sides. Sarah knew that this analyst wasn't the one she was angry with for this new dead end so as soon as her temper flared, it receded. Sarah picked up one of the scattered pages and sighed in defeat, staring at the angrily blacked out words. Moments passed and Sarah's frustration lessened, making way for Agent Walker's detached analysis.

When her head cleared it was her father's voice she heard telling her to focus and to think. He had always been meticulous; a necessary trait to have as a con-man. One of his favorite things to say when they had hit a dead end like this was "whatever they try to cover up always leaves a mark darlin'" then he would miraculously come up with the money, smile and promise her a triple scoop of Rocky Road.

Sarah smiled a little at the memory and turned to terror struck man by the wall.

"Sorry," she offered with an impish one-sided smile before turning back to the papers and staring at them with avid concentration.

The analyst was now completely convinced that although this woman was outstandingly beautiful, she was a raving lunatic with multiple personalities. He quickly backed out of the room before she could suddenly switch again and throw more knives at his head.

Agent Walker began to engage her training; both her father's and the CIA's. FULCRUM was obviously well connected enough to tamper with official NSA/CIA reports. To have even the opportunity to change an official government report you had to be high up in the government's chain of command. Very high up.

Sarah sat back and thought about the implications of her discovery; this was an organization that must have half the US generals on their side! This was the greatest conspiracy American had ever faced and her she was uncovering the whole thing. These were powerful people indeed.

But people she wanted to join? Sarah glanced at the blacked out reports of the NSA agent. He had got too close for FULCRUM's liking, that much had been clear, and just as he was about to unmask them they had killed him.

This organization was no better than the CIA, a mass of lies and cover ups that entangled agents like herself and this man from the NSA, entanglements that lead to death.

Sarah could now see that she had two choices. One was to go to Graham with her information on FULCRUM and hope that she wouldn't get a bullet in the back as soon as she left his office. The other was to join this conspiracy and hope to survive in the harsh environment of FULCRUM.

Sarah had always been a survivor but what if she had nothing left to survive for? Her mother was dead and her Father was in prison and never bothered to contact her. All she had was the CIA and this information on FULCRUM. She could go out a hero for her country. She would be s name young trainees looked up too instead of a statistic in a CIA Mortician's report filed away in a dusty room, never to see the light of day.

Finally after many days of indecision, mixed emotions and fleeting loyalties; Sarah had finally a moment of clarity. She wasn't an oath breaker. Now all she hoped was the bullet wouldn't come before she could warm Graham of this new threat.

Sarah gathered the precious papers to her chest. She chased herself for glancing around fearfully for a magically appearing FULCRUM assassin she had suddenly deemed could walk through walls. But all the room was silent except for the tick of the old grandfather clock in the corner.

Sarah figured the analyst was cowering in some corner waiting to go so she gave no acknowledgement she was leaving. Her heels made no sound on the polished wooden floor as she made her way towards the front door, stopping only to pull her knife from the wall and return it to its sheath. She was silent, as her training prescribed, so it was only when the analyst heard her car purr and then fade as it went down the street, did he venture to peep from behind the curtains to watch the beautiful blonde psychopath round the bend and disappear.

XXXXXX

The awe-struck analyst wasn't the only one who watched the disapearing blonde agent with fierce concentration. The woman stood in the shadowy overhang of a building just across the street from the analyst's residence, her brow furrowed in annoyance.

She hadn't anticipated the new information that Sarah had just gained would even reach her. She had been foolish to underestimate Sarah and now she was paying the price; she was about to lose her best potential recruit in years.

But this woman was no fool; she had turned some of the highest operatives in the CIA to her cause with much less to go on than she had with Sarah. She would just have to use the best of her information now.

She had been storing this gem of a find ever since she had uncovered it in the CIA's reports, hoping to use it later once Sarah had been recruited to set a hatred of the CIA in Sarah so strong that her's loyalty to FULCRUM could never be broken. It would unlock the Agent Walker the woman wanted for FULCRUM; a killer that looked like an angel, always out for vengeance.

The woman let a small smile warm her face as she walked to her car, this was far from over.

XXX

After fighting through another line of impossible St Petersburg traffic, Sarah had finally arrived back at the office with only two minutes to spare of her lunch break. She hurried out of the parking lot as fast as she could go in her heels which, even by agency standards, was very fast. She glanced at her watch as she ran, letting loose a few curses that caused a few business men walking in the courtyard before the office to look at her sharply. In her hurry Sarah didn't notice the black saloon car park silently on the other side of the street. She was so preoccupied with reaching the office in time for her briefing that she almost missed the woman walking towards her. Almost.

Sarah froze. This was it, FULCRUM wasn't even going to lure her to a more secluded ally way, this was the end. They were just going to shoot her here in the open, in front of her own office.

All of this ran threw her mind in a second, a torrent of fearful thoughts and speculations as the woman continued to walk towards the stunned agent.

"_Now Agent Walker should I be worried or flattered that you haven't drawn your gun on me?" _The woman said as she reached the still immovable agent.

Sarah suddenly sparked to life, clutching at her bag that contained her precious evidence._" I suggest you leave now. There are security cameras all over this courtyard and as soon as you leave we will track you and find you."_

"_Agent Walker,"_ the woman laughed,_ "You can't suppose I would make such an amateur mistake? I had a friend of mine inside turn off the cameras for a while, just long enough for you and I to have a little chat."_

"_I have nothing to say to you,"_ Sarah said forcefully but made no move to turn away.

The woman let her lips pull up into one of her unnerving smiles, "_You are free to leave Sarah, I won't stop you but my friend up there on that roof behind you would really like you to hear me out."_

Sarah turned slightly and looked up to the roof the woman had mentioned. What she saw didn't surprise her, a sniper with his aim trained on her heart.

Agent Walker knew Sarah should have expected this from the best terrorist organization America had ever faced but then actually making it to the office to tell Graham alive had always been a long shot.

The woman didn't wait for Sarah to respond before walking over to the stone benches surrounding a gushing fountain in the middle of the courtyard. Sarah followed behind numbly, aware that the sniper was shadowing her every move.

_Smart _Agent Walker thought subconsciously _the fountain will drown out our voices on any listerning device the CIA can have planted. _

The woman sat, giving no choice but for Sarah to sit too. She appeared content to let the silence lag on and Sarah wasn't prepared to break it as it was giving her an opportunity to sort through the jumbled mass of thoughts in her head.

After what seemed like an hour but was properly only a few moments the woman spoke. "_I'm proud of you Sarah," _was all she said, stillgazing out at the courtyard where men in dark suits came and went oblivious to the tense situation on the bench.

Of all the things Sarah had thought the woman was going to say this was the least expected. She had been carefully composing arguments to any accusations this woman would throw at the CIA to make her own organization look better. Rebuttles like _They do what's right for the country _and _They took me in when I had no one _but Sarah had not thought of a response to this statement so she sat silently still, barely controlling her curiousity.

The woman turned from her current profile to make eye contact, "_Not one of my previous recruits has ever found out so much about our organization in such short a time." _She clarified.

"_No one except for the NSA agent you killed,"_ Sarah answered vehemently, finding anger an easier method to use when trying to argue with this woman that seemed to be affected by nothing, _"And when he wouldn't betray his country and join you, you killed him."_

"_Yes Agent Walker I did. I did it to protect FULCRUM. I did it for this county like you kill to protect this country." _The woman said and seeing the fire burn in the blonde agent's eyes at the comparison, continued_, " If you knew the really roll FULCRUM plays in this country's safety you wouldn't be so quick to scorn me Agent Walker, you don't know how many time the CIA has failed and FULCRUM has had to step in."_

"_I am nothing like you," _Sarah whispered, her voice just audible over the noise of the fountain, "_And I will not break my oath to join an organization that kills good people in cold blood."_

The woman raised an eyebrow in response, that seemed to Sarah to be questioning her _what was it you had just done at our first meeting? Killing in cold blood I think._

The woman could see the turmoil rise in the blonde agent's eyes then fall leaving behind a new strength and determination.

"_Sarah I will let you go and tell them all you want but first I want to tell you something that I think will change your mind. I can't however speak for what my friend on the roof will do if you refuse my offer." _She said her eyes flashing dangerously before returning to their cool, calm medium.

"_Sarah," _she started causing Agent Walker to recoil at the sudden use of her name_, "What do you know about your mother's murder?"_

As soon as the words left the woman's mouth time ceased to continue for Sarah. She had shut the events of that day behind every wall she had ever constructed, ever barrier she had ever put up. It was the single worst day of her life when she had returned home from school, a happy eight year old to find a grim detective waiting for her in the living room. Her father was already falling apart when she got home and wouldn't even spare a glance for her when the detective had slowly and monotonously explained what had happened to her mother.

Rachel Burton had been working for a respectable banking firm that her dad had sold or "_Lichtensteined_"as he liked to call it, to a group of very dangerous and very well connected Afghani war lords. Jack Burton had only just been starting out as a con man then, just after he had been laid off. He hadn't the knowledge or experiance cover his tracks. The Afghani's had found out about Jack Burton and as his wife was working at the firn that "Lichtenstein" had sold then, they had supposed she was in on it too.

They had posed as bank robbers, stealing some 5.6 million dollars in compensation for being scamed to cover the fact that they had only come to shoot Rachel Burton. She had bleed out in seconds after taking two rounds to the chest while her killers escaped, never to be caught.

When Sarah had first been inducted into the CIA she had tried to find her mother's killers but she had neither the clearance nor the resources to dig any deeper than the police reports filled at the time. That was when Agent Walker had first learnt to compartmentalize, to block the painful memories of her mother's murder from her mind. But now as the woman brought out a manila folder marked only by the CIA emblem, Sarah felt her breath hitch.

The Woman spared her one glance of pity before flicking open the file to reveal the crime scene photo's attached to the inside cover.

Sarah quickly averted her eyes and forced herself to breathe but the image of her mother's dead body still danced before her eyes._ Blood. So much blood…_

The woman's unemotional words brought her back to reality as they were so similar to the detective's on that fateful day…_ "Rachel Burton murdered on 16__th__ May 1988 by unidentified men of middle eastern decent in a bank robbery gone wrong or so says the police reports…" _The woman glances up to make eye contact with the suddenly attentive Agent Walker.

"_What do you mean so the reports say? That's what happened!" _Sarah said angrily but the woman could detect the undertone of desperation; after all these years Agent Walker still wanted an answer, a resolution.

The woman didn't answer but looked back down at the file in her hands and turned the page. Sarah could see the CIA emblem at the top of the page signifying that the document was an official CIA report.

"_Why does the CIA have a file on my mother's murder? _Sarah demanded.

"_Because," _the woman said slowly_," Your mother's death could have been prevented by the CIA but they chose to ignore, no encourage, the terrorists that killed your mother so that they would have something to pin on them. They wanted them to kill your mother so they had a reason to pursue and detain them."_

"_What…" _Sarah whispered.

"_They knew Sarah." _The woman said and even the use of her name didn't make Sarah flinch. _"They have all their names on record: Akmal Hameen, Husayn Khairi, Matek Qasim…" The woman trailed off before continuing, "They knew all about your father's con and the men who had bought it. They knew how dangerous they were and that they intended to harm your mother and father but they still did nothing."_

The woman passed her the file and Sarah grasped it eagerly, wanting to see the betrayal with her own eyes. Agent Walker confirmed that the reports weren't forged, the standard security measures of a CIA report in place. She scanned over the report, the words registering and steadily turning her vision a furious shade of scarlet. She turned to page to the last page of the report and what she saw made her scream an internal howl of anger and betrayal. The report was signed _Langston Graham_.

However when the blonde raised her head, her eyes were a cool shade of ice blue with just a hint of anger in their depths. The woman smiled internally, she knew she had Sarah now.

"_Agent Walker, FULCRUM preserves and protects the people of America not like what the CIA has done to your mother. Join us Sarah and we will give you the chance to avenge your mother's murder."_

Sarah remained silent for a moment, taking time to shut the file before looking back up to meet he woman's eyes.

"_Yes."_

**XXX**

**A) I saw that coming a mile away. B) Wait what Sarah's mum got murdered? C) SMUSH!  
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**I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Was it lame. Was it predictable. Are you excited for where this is going? Remember REVIEWS will make the next chapter come sooner!**_  
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